Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Paris made me date online

Called NMM back last night, left him a brief VM. Back and forth the volley continues. Also heard from another online prospect, might do the coffee thing next week. Speaking of online…I mentioned in an earlier post my hesitations with doing the whole online thing…my hesitation goes back to earlier this summer…

            July 15, Paris train station, very, very early morning:
            Brother: So you haven’t had a date since May?
            Me: Nope.
            Brother: Seriously, what’s the big deal, why don’t you try online, lots of people are on match.com?
            Me: I dunno, I just feel like I’ll be SO OUT THERE.
            Brother: Uh ya, that’s the point! Listen, I’ll try this whole meditation thing if you go online, that’s a fair deal.
            Me: thinking, wow, my bro, meditate? He must really mean it, must really want me to give it a shot, he’s that confident about it that he’s willing to throw himself on a zafu! Crap, no way outta this.

            Me: Okay, when I get home tonight, I’ll go online and do it, I’ll send it to you   when I’m all signed up
            Brother: Whatever. You’re full of it, you’re never gonna sign up! But It’s a deal if  you do….
            Me: thinking, now he has me fired up! And I know that was is intention  #($#&$(@#*
         
Many, many hours later, in the safe haven that is my apartment. Staring at laptop the words match.com looming at me. Glazed over eyes from jetlag,I decide I’ll  just search, if there are no eligible men that I’m interested in, what is the point of signing up right?

The FIRST profile listed from my search (M 33-43), my EX.
Feeling nauseous, I delved further in, reading his description of himself, one that I might add, was lifted from a previous social networking sight. True to form, too lazy to write up something original.  Among other things he had written, he mentions his distaste for liars. This coming from someone who cheated on me for the last 2 years of our long-term relationship. I could go into an entire post on this subject, but it’s not worth it, because thankfully it’s over. Suffice it to say, seeing that reminder looming in front of me was a huge wake up call, that what I was about to do, I needed to do with great caution. Let me be clear here, I want nothing to do with EX. Nothing. Who knows the history of the men out there, could they be cheaters too? How would I know?

Months later, and the reason why I got my butt online, is that I knew I’d be just fine, thanks to a mother-freaking awesome possession of mine: my gut. My wise, omniscient, oh-so-clear gut.

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