Sunday, November 29, 2009

The text

Quick update, non man-man sent a text on Friday, asking how I was and wishing me a happy Thanksgiving. Nice, yes, but is it still nice when it's now Sunday, and again, nothing? Before you wonder, yes, of course, I did respond, and also inquired how he was doing. No response. My declining interest has morphed into solid disinterest. Oh and still haven't gotten any ideas for a new moniker, thus the non man-man, too wordy I know, still waiting on ideas from any of you!

It's sunny, going to go feed the soul with some sunshine...more later.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Red Flag

Red flags. Signs. That gut feeling.
Signals that tell you something is off, potential _______ (fill in the blank) ahead.

Danger? Heartbreak? Disappointment? Any and are possible. And experiencing the rocky terrain of uncertainty is part of the territory, so what's a puma to do? Acknowledge and roll. Go with the flow, with her head held high, yet having her ear to the ground.

A few weeks after green shirt, I met man-man. Man-man was given this label because I thought that's what he was - a man in the truest sense of a man. Slightly alpha, charming and had opinions while open to hearing others (mine). All 3 dates were beyond entertaining, not because of what we did, but how we talked. Engaging, debating, laughing. Kissing, oh and good kissing.

Remember that episode of Sex In the City with the sloppy kisser? Charlotte tried to train the guy with no luck.... for me a total deal breaker if I can't engage on the kissing. This is the one time I'll say the phrase too old, but I really am too old to be teaching how to smooch. So things with man-man seemed to be going well, and in a way that I was happy with. I wasn't thinking about him all the time, but when I did, I smiled. He seemed really into things, mentioned wanting to take a trip (too fast IMO) etc. And then this week, nothing.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Is it a numbers game?

Do you bring it up or not? The *number*. I am still struggling with this. Is it bad to not let the 28 year old know that you're nearly a decade his senior? I mean, it's not like I am going to marry him right? I may not even see him naked. I have answered my own question, as I let the struggle dissolve into non-action. Here's how it started, and let me state this never happens to me. Well, it did happen, but let's be clear here, these things tend to NOT happen to me.
I go the gym early. Not sunrise early, but starry night early around the neighborhood of 5:30am. I'm groggy, disheveled and cursing at myself the whole way there. Wondering if I can really have a productive work out when I can barely feel my legs, knowing that I must as I won't have time later - that, and I enjoy it once I get going. I silently grunt, peddling my feet on the hamster wheel that is the elliptical. On this particular day, as surge of energy manifested post-cardio and I decided to lift. I don't worry about how I look at this gym, for the reasons mentioned above AND the fact that I live in the gay area of town. Which is great, fantastic eye candy, and no one to bother me at said gym. I just like to get in and out. so I didn't pay any mind when I saw hot green t-shirt out of the corner of my eye as I packed up my bag to head home.
Then I noticed green shirt coming closer. To me.
He stuttered and stammered and me, high off of my endorphins, smiled, let the sweat drip down my chin, because surely this young man was gay.
And then it happened.