Clean slate= No such thing?

Clean slate...well not really. No. such. thing.
I often wake up thinking I'm going to start the day fresh, brand new. And while there's a morsel of truth in that, can you ever really wipe the slate clean?

They say it's a good goal to have, strive to start anew from the day before, the month before, the year before. But is it always a bad thing to not have a completely clean slate? Don't some of those lingering chalk marks serve as a reminder, or even an indicator of how to proceed? I think so...

It's the lack of clean slate that has helped me with navigating the dating world, to which I am fairly new, you see. Last year marked the end of a very long and often tumultuous relationship, and while I heard dating tales from friends, I hadn't really experienced them for myself. What I did learn over the years is how to connect with my values and act on them. The 'old' me would have probably called non man-man by now, or even text again by now. The only time I think about him or the non-situation is when friends ask...oh ya him, he's not in the picture anymore. I won't lie, there was a little voice that questioned my actions, what did I do to contribute to the non-situation with him. Maybe I should have just ripped off his clothes after the second date like I wanted to, and then the stronger voice told meek voice to shut the f-up. It doesn't matter that I didn't do 
the deed early on, which is my normal MO, and in fact, it likely would have made it more complicated. I do think though there certain types of men that I can have that relationship with, the casual deed if you will.

Man-man was not one of those types though, which is why I didn't move forward with it. It's been years since I've had the old pair and spare. What's that you say? A few years ago, after a disappointing evening out, I grabbed a cab home, only to be schooled in pair and spare...

The sweet, old Ethiopian man peered at me through his rear view mirror and asked me which guy I just left, the pair or the spare? Huh? He explained, "a beautiful woman like you should play the game the way 
the men do, have a pair that you dine and drink with, and  a spare to hold you tight at night." I loved it. Pair and spare. Only problem, at that time, I actually had a boyfriend and none of those things were even happening. Yes a wake up call, it should have been a wake up call back then. But now, I smile and laugh as I think about it. I think there's nothing wrong with the pair and spare as long as you don't go about it too long.

Keep some windows open to meet someone you can ride away with indefinitely instead of stopping to change the tires periodically.