Beds and the wild child unleashed....

Beds. Sex. It's hard not to think about sex when I think of beds. In fact, 9 times out of 10, I prefer sex over sleep. You can sleep anytime. I would love to say you can have sex anytime. Okay, you technically can, but good sex, that's another story.
Out of DC, in a new city, I was ready to let my wild child out and part of that release automatically includes an extra burst of sensual/sexual energy. Don't worry, I'll get back to the beds/sex part. It was new year's eve last night, and I always try to not build it up, but it's slightly inevitable. The surrounding pressure to go balls out is palpable everywhere we went. Even on the bus to our first party...couples canoodling and a spirit of freedom and celebration in everyone's eyes. The first stop was a pre-game situation with lots of liquid courage and some fab home-made apps to steady the flow. Passed on the hornitos shots, but did manage to guzzle down one sip that proceeded to set my throat and heart on fire.

Next stop was our party bar, complete with beds. Surrounding the dance floor on the upper level, a u-shaped lounge of white beds and fluffy pillows. Initially, as you may have guessed this was for the bottle-buying high rollers (or suckers depending on how you see it). Geniuses, my group of friends, we downed our cheap champagne downstairs for the overrated midnight hour, and then headed up to the beds sans bottle purchase. Oh, and for an added bizarre effect, at midnight we were doused with white feathers. So imagine a dance floor full of un-ecofriendly feathers, drunk peeps and loads of liquid courage...followed by beds. So I unleashed the wild child -- but not in the way I may be leading you to believe.

Little quiet, but not for long

Puma in DC has been quiet. It's DC's fault, folks have high-tailed it outta here for the holidays, and the sharp chill in the air has this woman pretty unmotivated to prowl around.
I've been content prepping for a trip out of town myself, see my besties for some fun in the sun. I am pretty sure my mojo will be unleashed by the very nature of leaving that which is familiar. It's somehow always easier to release the wild child when you know there's almost no possibility of being seen. Not that I do anything illegal, but it is a small district we have here.
Case in point, on my way out from the gym, ran into green shirt. Yes, I have managed to avoid him since that first (and last date). I had a slightly uncomfortable moment when he 'friend requested' me on FB. I figured, why not, it's not like I am going out with him again, my silence surely painted the reality of that picture for him, which is why I was perplexed with his interest in friend requesting. If he really does want to be friends, cool, but we all know how fluid that term friend is when it comes to FB. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, and there was no way to escape. The paper towel I was tugging at just wouldn't give and he walked right up to me as I struggled with it.

The first (online) date goes offline

Delete. Right? Well I did, and then IM (Irresponsible Man, the one who never called to formally cancel date due to snow storm) stepped up, a little bit. As I left work last night, he texted me to ask when was a good time for me to talk. I like that, respect for my time, asking first, all good things. I let him know I’d be out and he asked me to ring him at my convenience.
I was out last night, yes. I sorta held out on you guys --I had my first ever match.com date last night. And I lived to tell! And I don’t have a horror story to tell you either!
I’ve been emailing with a few of these potentials, and only 2 have really been at the forefront IMO. One being RIM (Recovering Irresponsible Man, per above), and the other being the guy from last night, who for time being we’ll call Sporty, because, well he’s pretty sporty!
As I was walking to the neighborhood pub to meet him, I ended up running into him. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief;

Just follow through dudes...

So how was that blind-friend date thing? It was as I expected, I was not physically attracted to him , but really enjoyed a good time. I always find it interesting to meet someone who is focused on what they want and able to articulate it with passion and vigor.  We talked about a lot, from work to personal space and growing up, it was a good time...and as I was walking home, I started thinking about what I would have done had I not made plans that evening. Basically I started taking an honest look at how comfortable/lazy I have gotten in my comfort zone. When did I become a home body? Is it the winter weather? Probably partly so. But I also think that it's been hard to motivate, I value rest and unwinding and I suppose since I am in the midst of a huge life change, I am slightly justifying my home-body-ness. That said, I did go out and do it, and I could have very well canceled. Am I trying to find myself some pats on the back? Maybe. Heh.

Back to match.com - so the first date I was supposed to have was to be Saturday. And seeing how we were buried under piles of the white stuff, I knew the date was not going to happen. But did this potential match email to cancel? Was he responsible? Nope. I was, however, and emailed 2x, once prior to the storm, and once during. Nada. Zip. Zero. And when I logged on Sunday morning to delete a bunch of messages, he had not only 'viewed me' but also been logged on in the past 24 hours. Delete.

Fast forward to Monday night,

Strategic energy

I called NMM back on my way to the gym last week, and he not only picked up, but went on and on about how he was thrilled to finally hear my voice
“Hold on, oh my, hold on, let me sit down , is this really you, your voice”.

Super duper dramatic, and kinda cute. We chatted and he told me that he’s been soooo busy the last 3 weeks and not had a minute to spare, and now he wants to see me. Well that’s convenient. Not. I told him (the truth) that I’m going home for the holidays and then off to the left coast for some fun in the sun, with only a smattering of days here and there actually in the District. Of course the few nights that I am free, which I did offer up, he’s working and also lives about 2+hrs away. Sunday is his only day to ‘hang’ and I already had plans tonight that I was not about to cancel. Not for him anyway. Now, granted, he does not owe me anything, and the beautiful thing is that I DON’T EITHER. We were never in a relationship, we were just dating, and a few dates at that. That said, I did like him, found him incredibly attractive, charming and engaging on a few levels.

I can’t see it evolving unless we spend more time together, either in person or via phone and since neither one of those can happen, it’s best for me to leave options open. This is the key. We have to think about maximizing our time, be strategic about our energy, it’s precious.  Limited. Finite. I don’t spend every waking minute dating (thank goodness), and have so many things that I devote my energy to, things that are just as important as a love life. Wait, more important than a love life. What’s that you say?

Paris made me date online

Called NMM back last night, left him a brief VM. Back and forth the volley continues. Also heard from another online prospect, might do the coffee thing next week. Speaking of online…I mentioned in an earlier post my hesitations with doing the whole online thing…my hesitation goes back to earlier this summer…

            July 15, Paris train station, very, very early morning:
            Brother: So you haven’t had a date since May?
            Me: Nope.
            Brother: Seriously, what’s the big deal, why don’t you try online, lots of people are on match.com?
            Me: I dunno, I just feel like I’ll be SO OUT THERE.
            Brother: Uh ya, that’s the point! Listen, I’ll try this whole meditation thing if you go online, that’s a fair deal.
            Me: thinking, wow, my bro, meditate? He must really mean it, must really want me to give it a shot, he’s that confident about it that he’s willing to throw himself on a zafu! Crap, no way outta this.

He called

Non man-man called.
I. am. so. excited.
Not.
You see, thing is, he lost it with the texting. Sexy texting banter is one thing. Calling me 'your woman' after not actually calling or SEEING me for 3 weeks is not sexy. Or interesting.

It started like this:
Non man-man (NMM): Hiiiii Where have you beeen? Why have you disappeared? Don't you care anymore?
that was Friday.
On Monday I replied:
ME: Hi, how are you? Been busy with some transitions in life! Me? You're the one with the vanishing act :)
NMM: Congrats on the transitions!!!! On to the next phase of your life!!!

Me - no response. I didn't respond, and then that same night, he called. See, games. I let it go to voicemail. He left a nice message, and I have to say he has one sexy voice. Deep, like a man...but not, as you know by now.  Now here's the dilemma, calling back? I am one of those people, I call you back. You call me, I call you back. BUT I don't want to see NMM anymore. I want to give some other men (or so I hope they are men) a chance. I don't feel that desire. Luckily for me, I'm so busy and out of town that I can't really set a date if he asks, and knowing him, if we set a date, he'll cancel. So I just decided, I will call but I won't commit, there is nothing to commit to!

Besides, I may just have an online date coming up soon....

Too many places...

Having returned from a whirlwind trip to NYC, I started to wonder....where are the men in DC?
Let me rephrase that, where are the attractive men in DC?

In NYC, nearly every bar, restaurant, shop and street corner seemed to be teaming with hot men. I realize the sheer number of people in NYC contributes to this fantastic phenomenon, but I do recall a few years back having a better situation in DC. Granted, back then there were less places to go.

You had Local 16, Chi-Cha, ESL, Russia House and then the newcomers (not so new anymore) Wonderland, Marvin, Napoleon. I think that's it, there are TOO many places to go in this city...errrr district. NYC is the five fingered hand, DC is the thumb, and barely at that. I didn't even mention the hotel bars, they're sprouting up faster then a chia pet!

If you have some locations that regularly house the attractive-opposite-sex, I am all ears. Women have been eye candy for so many years, don't feel bad about wanting the same ladies!

By the way, non-man-man has texted - NOT called - once again! Actually twice...on the way home from NYC to let me know that he was going to call me Sunday night. "Was" as in never did. I actually forgot (he's so off my radar) until I received another text this afternoon, informing me that he was out of town until later this week and he misses me. Really? Misses me, having known me for 3 short dates? Misses me enough to not call me or make plans to rendez-vous? Please. What he's missing is a set of balls. Seriously.
Next up, my foray into the online dating world.....

The text

Quick update, non man-man sent a text on Friday, asking how I was and wishing me a happy Thanksgiving. Nice, yes, but is it still nice when it's now Sunday, and again, nothing? Before you wonder, yes, of course, I did respond, and also inquired how he was doing. No response. My declining interest has morphed into solid disinterest. Oh and still haven't gotten any ideas for a new moniker, thus the non man-man, too wordy I know, still waiting on ideas from any of you!

It's sunny, going to go feed the soul with some sunshine...more later.

Is it a numbers game?

Do you bring it up or not? The *number*. I am still struggling with this. Is it bad to not let the 28 year old know that you're nearly a decade his senior? I mean, it's not like I am going to marry him right? I may not even see him naked. I have answered my own question, as I let the struggle dissolve into non-action. Here's how it started, and let me state this never happens to me. Well, it did happen, but let's be clear here, these things tend to NOT happen to me.
I go the gym early. Not sunrise early, but starry night early around the neighborhood of 5:30am. I'm groggy, disheveled and cursing at myself the whole way there. Wondering if I can really have a productive work out when I can barely feel my legs, knowing that I must as I won't have time later - that, and I enjoy it once I get going. I silently grunt, peddling my feet on the hamster wheel that is the elliptical. On this particular day, as surge of energy manifested post-cardio and I decided to lift. I don't worry about how I look at this gym, for the reasons mentioned above AND the fact that I live in the gay area of town. Which is great, fantastic eye candy, and no one to bother me at said gym. I just like to get in and out. so I didn't pay any mind when I saw hot green t-shirt out of the corner of my eye as I packed up my bag to head home.
Then I noticed green shirt coming closer. To me.
He stuttered and stammered and me, high off of my endorphins, smiled, let the sweat drip down my chin, because surely this young man was gay.
And then it happened.