Strategic energy

I called NMM back on my way to the gym last week, and he not only picked up, but went on and on about how he was thrilled to finally hear my voice
“Hold on, oh my, hold on, let me sit down , is this really you, your voice”.

Super duper dramatic, and kinda cute. We chatted and he told me that he’s been soooo busy the last 3 weeks and not had a minute to spare, and now he wants to see me. Well that’s convenient. Not. I told him (the truth) that I’m going home for the holidays and then off to the left coast for some fun in the sun, with only a smattering of days here and there actually in the District. Of course the few nights that I am free, which I did offer up, he’s working and also lives about 2+hrs away. Sunday is his only day to ‘hang’ and I already had plans tonight that I was not about to cancel. Not for him anyway. Now, granted, he does not owe me anything, and the beautiful thing is that I DON’T EITHER. We were never in a relationship, we were just dating, and a few dates at that. That said, I did like him, found him incredibly attractive, charming and engaging on a few levels.

I can’t see it evolving unless we spend more time together, either in person or via phone and since neither one of those can happen, it’s best for me to leave options open. This is the key. We have to think about maximizing our time, be strategic about our energy, it’s precious.  Limited. Finite. I don’t spend every waking minute dating (thank goodness), and have so many things that I devote my energy to, things that are just as important as a love life. Wait, more important than a love life. What’s that you say?
What could be more important? How about you. Me. Me loving the life that I am living, and bringing energy to that is the priority, it always will be, it must be otherwise I’m no good to anyone I love, and can’t possibly let real love in.

Like today for example, completely devoted to taking care of me. Sunday funday. Don’t get to do that every day, there’s work, there’s friends and family, there’s errands etc. Today, ran, did yoga with a dear friend, had tea, and made a fresh smoothie at home, hot shower with eucalyptus oil. Bliss.

Tonight, am meeting a friend of a very dear friend for tea. This guy just moved here, and no idea what he looks like or what he’s about. Apparently he just got out of a LT, and my friend just thought it would be nice if we met. She said she wasn’t sure if there would be chemistry, which in my mind means there probably won’t, have a feeling I may not find him attractive, but at the very least I make a new friend...