Red Flag

Red flags. Signs. That gut feeling.

Signals that tell you something is off, potential _______ (fill in the blank) ahead.

Danger? Heartbreak? Disappointment? Any and are possible. And experiencing the rocky terrain of uncertainty is part of the territory, so what's a puma to do? Acknowledge and roll. Go with the flow, with her head held high, yet having her ear to the ground.

A few weeks after green shirt, I met man-man. Man-man was given this label because I thought that's what he was - a man in the truest sense of a man. Slightly alpha, charming and had opinions while open to hearing others (mine). All 3 dates were beyond entertaining, not because of what we did, but how we talked. Engaging, debating, laughing. Kissing, oh and good kissing.

Remember that episode of Sex In the City with the sloppy kisser? Charlotte tried to train the guy with no luck.... for me a total deal breaker if I can't engage on the kissing. This is the one time I'll say the phrase too old, but I really am too old to be teaching how to smooch. So things with man-man seemed to be going well, and in a way that I was happy with. I wasn't thinking about him all the time, but when I did, I smiled. He seemed really into things, mentioned wanting to take a trip (too fast IMO) etc. And then this week, nothing.

I invited him out to join for drinks, knowing I had a day off, and he mentioned being available. He emailed me back saying he'd be in the city, and would join if he got done in time. Done with what? Perhaps another date? It's not like we're exclusive, so I suppose that's fine, but honestly if that was the case, I'd rather not be the second one in the same night. Talk about bitter aftertaste. If he was working, fine too. But a text saying either way, yes joining, or politely declining would have been the man-man thing to do. This from a man who is addicted to his berry BTW. Last date, at the movies, he'd checked it at least 3x.

See, there it is, that red flag. I'm not saying every berry addict is a red flag, but when you pair it up with circumstances, it certainly is something to file away. That and 48 hours later, nothing. Granted, I am not communicating either, and that's because I sat down and opened up all the filed way red flags.

Like on the first date, when we shared our past relationship histories, yes I know, not supposed to do that on the first date, but he pursued. We talked about being cheating, how it is unacceptable and so on. At one point, he tells me a story of his past where a married woman stripped off her clothes and pleaded 'take me now, I want you". I know, I was wondering the same thing, WHY are you telling me this?! Then he went on to say that he covered his eyes and told her to get a hold of herself, and then ahem, abstained from any interaction with her beaming naked body. And he even had the balls to tell me that she had a smoking body. It's like I didn't want to hear it, so I didn't. I filed it away because the rest of the date rocked. Was he bragging? Some said this was the case, machismo? I don't know, maybe. But something is just off about a 35-year-old male telling this kind of ‘story’ to a woman that he wants to romance/bed/date. There were other signs, and point is just to heed them, because when you do, you end up not falling as far.

Yes, I'm disappointed but I am not distressed, and honestly I am still excited about meeting someone that works for me. I'll let you know if he calls, but he's no longer man-man. Got any ideas for a good code name? Shoot em' my way...